


Reclamation

by thesometimeswarrior



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode s06e07 Snow Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21936709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesometimeswarrior/pseuds/thesometimeswarrior
Summary: “But, P,” Amethyst says, eyebrow raised. “Steven's not the only one who’s grown! Let’s talk aboutyou! The shapeshifing! Whatchanged?”After Steven Tag, Pearl, Amethyst, and Garnet debrief...about more than just a game.(A coda.)
Relationships: (Minor), Amethyst & Garnet & Pearl (Steven Universe), Pearl & Steven Universe, Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe)
Comments: 45
Kudos: 185





	Reclamation

The three of them remain on the couch after they finally bid Steven a goodnight, and he climbs the stairs to his room. (It’s later, he says, than he was planning on staying awake, and he’d performed a perfunctory eye-roll when Pearl had offered to make him hot chocolate once they finally stumbled in from the cold. But he’d accepted the cocoa with a smile anyway, nuzzled the mug in his hands as they sat for hours, spent more time just _talking_ than then they had in years.)

After he finally does go to bed, they’re left in a contented silence, broken only by Amethyst nibbling on the hot chocolate pot. Finally, Pearl speaks. “How did we not see that he’d _grown_?”

“We _did_ ,” Garnet insists. “But we forgot how short the human lifespan is, how dramatically growth can manifest in so short a time. But,” she smiles. “He seems to have forgiven us. We’ll do better from now on.”

Pearl smiles. Once, this simple reassurance wouldn’t have been enough for her. She’d have dwelled on the hurt in Steven’s eyes for _weeks_ , like a flagellation, like a personal failing. But she’s grown too, knows intuitively that Garnet is _right_. If nothing else, the hot chocolate mustache on Steven’s lip had proven that.

“But, P,” Amethyst says, eyebrow raised, as if reading her thoughts “He’s not the only one who’s grown! Let’s talk about _you_!”

“Me?” For an instant, she thinks Amethyst means her toned-down response to Steven’s own angst, is surprised by the level of intuition…

“Duh! The _shapeshifting_!”

“Oh. Well…” Pearl grins, blushes blue, grips the back of her neck. “I suppose.”

“You _suppose_?!” Amethyst springs up. “Pearl, you’ve _never_ shapeshifted in all the time I’ve known you! And now you can! That’s _huge_! Garnet, tell her!”

“It’s huge.”

“Well, alright.” 

“P, what _changed_?”

In lieu of a response, Pearl glances away. 

“Amethyst,” Garnet cuts in, saving her. “I believe you know.”

“Wha…”

“Think about the last time Pearl shapeshifted.”

“But that’s what I’m saying, I’ve never seen her—”

“But there was an incident, that we all learned of several years ago, during which you know that she shapeshifted.”

“Oh.” Epiphany lights go off behind Amethyst’s eyes. “ _Ohhhhh_. Is…is that it, P?”

A nod. 

“Oh, geeze.” Amethyst buries her face in her hands, collapses back down on the couch. “I used to be _awful_ to you about not shapeshifting! Because I thought…I dunno…you were just being a buzzkill or something. But really, you were…there was…”

Now Pearl gently grasps Amethyst’s shoulder, smiles gently. “It’s alright. You didn’t know. I—well I suppose, _Pink_ , really—went to great lengths to ensure that.”

“But I was still _awful_ to you about it!”

“And if I recall correctly, I wasn’t always exactly always _kind_ to you either. And that wasn’t fair.” She pauses. “I’m just happy that we’ve both grown past it.”

Amethyst smiles. “Yeah. Me too.” She lets those words sit in the air for a moment, leans back into the cushion. When she speaks again, it’s in a quieter voice than she normally uses, a tentative one. “But you never answered my question. I get why you never _used_ to shapeshift, but what _changed_? I mean,” Amethyst adds hastily. “ _if_ you wanna talk about it.”

“I suppose thinking about… _what happened_ …isn’t quite as painful as it once was.” 

Pearl looks at the others, as though she’s expecting a response—an exclamation of surprise, perhaps, or someone weighing in with disapproval for what once was, or approval for what is now. But Garnet and Amethyst merely hold in the silence, look at her expectantly, but without any pressure in their eyes. And it allows her the space she needs to formulate her next words. 

“It used to _hurt_ ,” she continues. “For several reasons. I…It went against _every_ instinct I had as a Pearl, to…do _that_ …to my Diamond, and that _hurt_. And after the Corruption…for so long……I thought it was _my fault_. Because the Diamonds did what they did because they thought Pink was _gone_ , and I had been the one to take the sword and… _do_ it—”

Amethyst interrupts. “Corruption wasn’t your fault, P.”

She nods. “I know. After millennia, I’ve finally realized as much. But even more than _that_ , I...it hurt because…I…I _wanted_ to be free, I _did_ , but when it finally happened, when _I_ made it happen, when there was only Rose and no more Pink—and then Rose didn’t want me _serving_ her—I…being a Pearl was all I’d ever _known_ , and it was… _I_ was…I was _afraid_. For millennia, I was so _afraid_ of freedom. And then Rose was _gone_ …” Pearl shakes her head. 

Amethyst and Garnet each lay a hand on one of Pearl’s shoulders, bracing her as she collects herself to continue.

“I think that’s why…I _loved_ Rose. I _did_. I think I still _do_ …but…for so long, it wasn’t _only_ about loving her. I didn’t know who I was supposed to be without a Diamond. And _loving_ her—being the Gem-who-loved-her—knowing that _that_ was who I was…it made things easier.” She exhales in a half-laugh. “I didn’t know I could love her _and_ be my own Gem at the same time.”

“Hey,” Amethyst exclaims gently without removing her hand from Pearl’s shoulder. “That’s almost exactly what Ruby said right before she proposed to Sapphire, right Garnet?”

“That’s what _Steven_ said to Ruby. And it gave her the idea to propose. She realized that she could be her own Gem and love somebody too. That’s what brought me back. But, Pearl, please continue.”

“I realized the same thing that Ruby did. I’m not sure precisely when…perhaps after Steven sacrificed himself to Homeworld—”

“ _That’s_ what did it for you?” Amethyst raises her eyebrow in surprise.

“It’s what made me realize I wanted to choose Steven over Rose. I’d never…For the first time, I _wanted_ to tell the truth. Even though I hadn’t discovered how to yet. And when I finally did, when I saw the effect it had had on everyone, and how _relieved_ I was…I realized…I realized that…well, that I thought that Rose—Pink—was _wrong_.” She exhales, as though releasing this burden again for the first time. “And I realized that I could believe that, and _still_ love her. I think _that’s_ when I was finally ready to be free.” 

The silence hangs, a comfortable weight. Pearl doesn’t turn her head, but she feels the others’ smiles, like they’re transmitting them through their fingers into her shoulders, into her very being. 

After a moment, Amethyst asks softly, “Soooo…shapeshifting?”

Pearl sniffles, blinks tears out of her eyes “Freedom isn’t frightening any more. And it took me millennia, but I understand now that nothing that happened was my fault. So that moment…it still _hurts_ , but not as badly as it once did.” She pauses. “Besides, it’s already prevented me from doing so much, from connecting…I hadn’t thought of it before, but when Garnet tagged me, I realized…I don’t want it to prevent me from doing anything else. Least of all something that might help me connect with the people I love.”

“I’m proud of you, Pearl,” Garnet says, after a moment.

“Did you see that I would shapeshift? Is that why you tagged me?”

“I saw that it was a possibility. But I also saw that the choice would be yours. No one could make it for you.”

“I’m glad you made that choice, P.”

Pearl leans into their embraces. 

“I am too,” she replies.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I love comments!


End file.
